Comparison is the Thief of Joy | How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Monday, October 29, 2018

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” —Theodore Roosevelt

Lately I've been really struggling with comparison. 
We live in an age where it is so easy to compare ourselves to one another and quite frankly social media doesn't help. I often find myself scrolling through pages wishing "I was more like that mother" or "If only my feed looked like hers," or "I wish I had that many followers/subscribers." It is so easy to get trapped in the mindset that your life would be better if you were more like so and so...

How do we get out of that mindset though? How do we find the balance between enjoying social media and the negatives it can bring. 

I'm writing this post to let you know you aren't alone. I am struggling with comparison just as much as the next gal. We all (bloggers) post what we want you to see. The highlights of our lives. We rarely post our demons or struggles on our pages which gives the appearance of a near perfect life. Do not buy into this! Do not base your happiness or judge how great your life is off of others. No one is perfect, not even the gal you stalk on Instagram with 500k followers and the fancy camera and closet full of designer purses. If you were to ask them, they'd say the same thing. The grass isn't always greener, I promise!

Social media is a blessing and a curse. I turn towards it as a distraction from my day to day life and as a creative outlet but oftentimes in return I find myself wishing for the life of someone else. Wishing I was able to travel the world like other bloggers. Wishing I had even 1 designer bag, let alone 20+ bags and a Gucci belt like the gals I follow on Instagram. It is a normal feeling, it is normal to feel less than or not enough. It is normal to want to compare. The most important thing is to realize that social media is fake. That it is not an accurate picture of anyone's real life. Once we get this realization under control we will all live a much happier and fulfilled life.

“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” – Shannon L. Alder

“Don’t compare your beginnings to someone else’s middle.” – Tim Hiller

Below are some tips that I've found that can help us all in this comparison/ social media struggle. I hope these are able to help you like they did me.

1. Become aware of your own successes. 
Take the time to write down or think of all the things you have going for yourself. We often are too focused on the successes of others to realize our own and how great our life really is.

2. Take a break from social media. A social media detox if you will.
The easiest way to quit comparing = stop going on social media, even if just for a day. Remove yourself from the source of what is causing the comparison struggle. Taking that moment to breathe and be present in our day to day lives will help immensely. It helps keep me in check honestly.

3.Look for what you have in common.
Next time you see someone on social media and you find yourself comparing think of what you have in common. For example, "Wow I wish I had 100k followers on my blog or Instagram!" "Why can't I be as a success as them?" instead think, "I love how we both have the common love for blogging or fashion. I hope to get to that status one day. What are ways that I can work to achieve that and set goals for yourself." Take the time to realize that we are all just people with flaws and common goals. We are more alike than you think.

4. Remember that this isn't the end.
Your life isn't over, you have time. If you want to be successful you still can. If you want that Prada purse, start saving. If you want a successful blog, keep working hard. Take the time to water your own garden instead of gawking at everyone else's. Make the plans and invest in your future. You have time. If you want it you can obtain it.

5. If you need to compare, compare to yourself.
If you must compare do so to yourself. Compare where you are now in life to where you were a year ago. See how far you've come and how much you have changed and all the successes you've had since then. Or compare yourself now to where you want to be in the future. Makes goals for yourself. Channel your energy into changing your life for the better instead of dwelling on what you do not have.

6. Remember, this isn't the full picture.
Instagram for example is a prime example of a "highlight reel" We all post the best pictures with the best quality lighting and neglect the fact it took us 50 times to get the shot just right. When comparing ourselves to others and their lives remember that they aren't showing it all. They aren't showing their struggles or how many hours of hard work it took to get them there. We are all just posting our successes. Stop comparing your behind the scenes to their highlight reel. It is so easy to compare when all you see is their polished Instagram and personal brand. No one is perfect. Behind every home decor post is a pile of laundry they shoved out of the shot. Remember these are normal people just like you. Everyone has a closet full of demons they don't show. Social media is not real life.
If you made it this far in the post, thanks! I hope these tips were able to help you. If you ever wanna chat more about this just email me or comment below & I'll be sure to get back to you. Also let me know in the comments if you try out the social media detox. I swear it seems so simple but it truly does help!

Remember you are enough! You are capable of great things! Stop comparing! Start living!


  1. I resonate with this so so much! Thank you for this!

  2. Thanks so much! This has been weighing on my heart lately and wanted to share!


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